Oh Dear...

I have had such a hankering to go on a junk food bender but have managed to eat pretty well and make good choices. I couldn't take it any longer so I went to the store and wound up coming home with three boxed cake mixes with frosting, dark chocolate chips (which has been my go-to when I want something sweet), eggs rolls and frozen PB&J sammies (both surprises for Ken), single serving caramel molten cakes by Betty Crocker, and two pints of ice cream:

I've been seeing this "Arctic Zero" ice cream floating all around Instagram and wanted to try it. It's 150 calories for the whole thing and it's fat free, gluten free, lactose intolerant friendly, and made with whey protein. If you ate the whole container you would get 12 grams of protein and 8 grams of fiber. 

And then this bad guy was slumming it next to the Arctic Zero, boasting of full flavor, tons of fat and calories, and most importantly, tons of brownies. I've been dying for brownies lately so, why not?

And after I unloaded and put it all away? I still ate my healthy rice, quinoa, turkey, avocado, and spinach. I'll indulge later?

I still want one anyway...

Not Guilty!

Charges dismissed! Of course now I must be absolutely certain the car isn't parked within 15 feet of a fire hydrant. However, these officers that think tickets are best given in the middle of the night while people are getting their beauty sleep doesn't fly with me anymore. But that's just my tough talk because I won. I just wanted to pay the fine and not fight it  in the first place but Ken talked me out of that. Glad he did because I kept my $85! Here is my text chain while I was waiting to be seen:

The Car That Will Be the End of Me...

Bonner Springs Court, here I come...I'm coming for you. In the community center I guess. 

Mmm...hot dogs...

Can I justify the complete lack of nutrition by saying that all proceeds went to the high school football team? I'm simply supporting my community? Truthfully, I could've eaten 3 more...

A little protein with your coffee?

Several handfuls of ice, one scoop chocolate protein powder, a cup of joe (already brewed of course), and enough unsweetened almond milk to satisfy your taste buds (I probably used half a cup). Blend and enjoy that 3:00 buzz!

MM

Ken mapped out all of the sex offenders in our zip code using the "Offender Locator" app. I didn't realize there were so many! If the sex offender is of the child variety, all of them drive a van like the one my dad bought according to my sister. The sign comes standard with all models...

Bachelorette Party

Thought I could share some of the bachelorette party details that I helped host a few weeks for my fantastic friend Leslie! It was so much fun putting it together and hosting with the other girls. Without further ado, let's start with the invites, made by yours truly (I got the inspiration from none other than Pinterest):

One of the games we played was The Lingerie Game, in which everyone brings a piece of lingerie as their gift but leaves it unmarked for Leslie to guess who brought it. If she guessed right, the guest that brought it had to take a shot. If she was wrong, she had to take a shot. It was an absolute blast! These little lingerie pieces were tucked in with the invite to let everyone know in advance the bride's size and that a game would revolve around their gift:

Let's just say I'm glad I caught this little guy hanging out above the toilet before the party started (the typo is the best part):

Group Pictures!

Here's some pictures of the super delicious food that one of the girls made, along with penis cake pops on the bottom right as a party favor, and shot glasses with plastic engagement rings in them:

The drink bar (before all of the drinks arrived. It was BYOB and I think we were able to word it quite tactfully on the invite):

I loved the cute mason jars with chalkboard tags for everyone to mark with their porn names:

To get the creativity with drinks flowing, Ken found me a simple drink recipe for inspiration:

We played a few bachelorette party games before we got to the aforementioned Lingerie Game. We had a race to see who could get a condom on a banana the fastest without breaking the banana (yep, they had to work with a peeled banana). There was a race to see who could shape the best penis out of play-dough in a minute's time. Leslie got to the pick the winner (too funny that her own mom shaped the best penis!). Finally, there was a risque bachelorette mad libs that everyone filled out and read aloud. Lots of laughs all around:

And last but not least, water. AKA, H2O Hangover Cure:

Such an amazing time! I would post links to all of the tutorials that I learned from, but no one reads my blog except for my parents. So I don't feel too bad about not crediting at this point. As we all know, I will eventually become famous and makes lots of cash from this blog. I will go back and link up when that happens. But until then...no links because I am lazy.